When we were younger, my wife called the number 53 "the evil gizzard number". I now have cause to believe that; it's taken me entirely too long to get around to this post.
I mean, four months? Really? What have I done between them?
Honestly? A lot of soul-searching. A lot of working. A lot of trying to figure things out, and failing miserably.
The first thing I tried to figure out is whether I'm really really saved, or if I'm just playing around. I mean, I believe in Jesus with all my heart, but I have trouble with the way organized religion makes everything so cut and dried. Life is messy - why should church be any different? My best friends are the ones who believe and don't force their beliefs on anyone. Unfortunately, what they believe isn't necessarily what I believe. I have so many troubles with where I believe I'm called, including a lack of evidence of calling...
Could this be what is a crisis of faith? Or just of confidence? Or is it a test, to make sure I don't move on feelings alone?
I've always been what one would call a rational mystic - where there's a logical, natural explanation, leave the demons out of it. If there's something supernatural, let it be supernatural. But for the love of most things holy, don't go seeing demons under every bush and in every situation: they just aren't there, most of the time. But is there a need to be more rational? Or more mystic? Where does the balance lie?
I think these, and a few other things, will be looked at on a more regular basis. As ever, comments, flames, suggestions for posts, and everything else is welcome.
Firstly, you are a slacker.
ReplyDeleteSecondly, it is far too late to comment on your post rationally as it is some silly small hour of the morning and my brain ceased regular function several hours ago (I am currently running on Pepsi Max).
Thirdly (and finally - (thousands of small wolves howl their approval)) (Did I just violate some parenthesis rule there?) YOUR HEADER PICTURE IS FAN-FRICKIN-TASTIC!
That is all. Do not leave for so long again.
Similar questions have been rattling around my head.It is amazing how much pressure we have been receiving to attend church regularly from our families now that we've decided to 'take a break' from organized religion. Hope you find your answers.
ReplyDeleteInteresting post, Ryan. We're on a journey, every day has its own questions & challenges to solve. Some of them are unsolvable w/the human brain (at least the one in my head) & that is why I so desperately need to hear the Word preached. Certainly, church is not the only place where this can happen & actually shouldn't be the only place it is heard.
ReplyDeleteOur calling is, first, to love & not just those that are like us, but those who seem totally opposite of us & even those who might be called 'enemies'. I have found that when I want to pull away from anyone (even 'organized religion' whatever that is), it is usually just the place where God wants me to persist, persevere, and even pursue. The pursuit is usually through prayer for that person and repentance for my own lack of compassion. I won't change or be a beacon to a dying world by removing myself from meeting w/my brothers & sisters in Christ. How could I ever expect to grow if I leave the very 'education center' that God provides with all the challenges available and the resources required to be successful in learning to love. If I won't even persist in an arena where, at least, people are seeking God, how can I ever expect to make a difference to the world. I will only be disjointed and ineffectual.
As to your quest, it is a universal one for those in Christ. The answer always begins & ends with Christ in us, the hope of glory; and being changed from glory to glory.
Emma - I am guilty of slacking, but I'm going to try to make it up to you. Also, more info to follow on the artist who designed the header.
ReplyDeleteMarie - Breaks from "organized religion" are a good way to get refocused on how one interacts with God, and even to beat out a few dings in one's theology. However, just as too much isolation causes a fatal deviancy in one's behaviors, too long outside of a local body causes a deviant shift in one's theology. I pray that you find what you're seeking.
Deborah - I once heard a story involving Quakers. A man once stopped in to see how a Quaker "meeting" was held. He showed up on time and waited patiently for the Pastor to begin. After sitting in a silent crowded sanctuary where everyone else had their head bowed for thirty minutes, he whispered to the man next to him, "When does service start?" His neighbor replied, "After we leave through the back doors."
ReplyDeleteJust as the maturation of a child doesn't happen solely in the home, the growth of a believer doesn't happen inside a church. Next blog topic, I think I've found you...
Hmm. Are you implying that I'm a deviant? ;)
ReplyDeleteInteresting bit....the 53rd day of the year is Feb 22.
Grace - Deviancy is only measured in other people's eyes; I can't find it in my heart to judge this, because I'm fairly outside of the statistical norms myself.
ReplyDelete